It?s Friday night, which means another date with Pat … your cat. Or perhaps it?s a romantic evening with the Cylones, the barcalounger and a plate of macaroni and cheese. So what are you going to do about it? Who will help you pick the lock off your chains of loneliness? It?s the Dynamic Duo of Dating, Joan and Dan. But as one reader asks, “Why should I listen to these two? Look at them ? would you take advice from them? What real experience do they have?
DAN: Well, Joan has had more dates than you?ll find in a crate of Mueslix, so I know that helps. Then she heard Helen Reddy?s “I Am Woman” one too many times and decided to write a book about how great it is to live in a psychological cocoon of denial where enjoying sunsets by yourself is like opening the 1-cent suitcase on “Deal or No Deal.” Am I within hailing distance of the truth, Blanche (she always depends on the kindness of strangers)?
JOAN: I wrote “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right” for friends like you who moaned, “there are no good women left.” I wanted single baby-boomer men and women (especially women) to know that you could find a mate at any age, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, even 80s, and interviewed 200 people and 40 experts from San Francisco to New York. The theme of the book is that you need to find a passion besides romance and yourself first. As for my credentials, I?ve been interviewed nationally as a relationship expert by Self, Bride, The Washington Times,Christian Science Monitor, The National Enquirer and Newsweek, and have appeared on Fox News, NPR, PBS and “The Rick Sanchez Show.” I was also invited to lecture twice on The Norwegian Cruise Lines. I combined my passion for cooking and matchmaking by teaching cooking to singles at Whole Foods for five years. What are your credentials besides being Mr. Serial Dater?
DAN: First, thanks for your resume; do you do windows as well? And I?m well aware of all of your sundry media appearances, including TIME magazine. … You might recall my PR skills had something to do with all of that!! As for me, well, there?s no substitute for experience. During my personal ads phase of the late 1990s, I had about 60 blind dates in two-plus years. It came to be almost a sociological experiment; I learned a lot about myself, what I really like and dislike and helped me grow. Having grown up the overweight last-kid-picked-for-dodgeball, an affliction that stayed with me through college, it took considerable strength of will to overcome my own shyness and self-doubt to enter the fray of the dating world.
JOAN: To our reader who said “Why should I believe them, neither one of them is in a successful relationship.” Who said I?m not? I?ve been dating a man for three years whom I met while on the Norwegian Cruise Line while presenting relationship workshops. So what that he lives in Seattle?
DAN: You go, girl. While I am not currently in a relationship, I have had my moments and, along the way, learned some important truths: What matters most is knowing yourself and being happy with who you are. If so, you can take solace in being good company to yourself; you?ll always have YOU. If not, no person is going to “fix” or “complete” you ? that?s your job. It?s that simple. Truth is truth, no matter the source.
Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire, and author of”Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”
