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Step aside Hillary, Barack, Nader, Barr and McCain: Mama’s taking over.
That’s right, Thelma Harper (aka “Mama,” portrayed by Vicki Lawrence on the 1980s sitcom “Mama’s Family”) says she’s running for president … sort of.
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“Harper” is out with a new book, “Mama for President: Good Lord, Why Not?” and in it, she lays out why she should be the first female president, not Hillary [Clinton]. “My fellow Americans, I’m proud to say that there are no skeletons in my closet; just some mousetraps and a roach motel with no vacancies,” she writes.
Her platform? A sampling:
- She believes FEMA should be stripped of its powers, which will be turned over to none other than Pizza Hut and Domino’s. “Not only will they show up within a half hour, but they would probably even give starving victims a good deal of those promotional bread sticks.”
- Immigration: “I’ll tell you how we solve the problem at our border. … Build senior citizen housing all along the American side. Noone sees more than a nosy old lady peeking through her window blinds.”
- Nancy Grace will be her attorney general: “Because she won’t take any crap from anybody and she’ll be easier to protect since her hair is bulletproof.” Secretary of Defense? Martha Stewart: “She’s General Patton with a spatula.”
