Bush’s loudest laugh line, at 90.7 dB, was when he said Hillary Clinton couldn’t make it “because of sniper fire” and “Sen. Obama’s at church.”

Ferguson topped out at 90.5 dB, when he joked that Canada was like the apartment above the party. “Come to the party, Canada,” he joked. “We’re like: ‘Mexico wasn’t invited but they’re coming anyways.’ ”

(For reference, a vacuum cleaner operates at 70 dB, a lawn mower at 90 dB.)

Bush conducting the Marine Band generated 96.6 dB worth of noise.

Yet neither man could compare with the general ruckus of the evening — a source of consternation for association President Ann Compton. Trying to be heard over an 88 dB din, she began the evening by asking the crowd to quiet down. Ditto when she later tried to present scholarship awards. “It’s incredibly rude,” she admonished, ultimately getting it down to a low of 78.5 dB.

The loudest portion of the night? Dinner, when the meter topped out at a whopping 100.1, the equivalent of a chain saw.