While it’s never quiet in the House of Windsor, it is undeniable that over the past few weeks, the British monarchy has suffered from a public relations crisis. You have a king with cancer — type unknown, seriousness unknown — who has stepped back in order to undergo treatment for an unspecified amount of time. Nearly one month before this was announced, it was declared that the princess of Wales had undergone successful “planned abdominal surgery” and would not be making any public appearances until at least after Easter.

Since then, the internet has run wild with Kate conspiracies. Is she recovering from a Brazilian butt lift? Is she divorcing her husband? Is she suffering from a terrible eating disorder, or had she been dispatched altogether and replaced with a body double?