For their most recent Cold Open, Saturday Night Live re-created the GOP debate of Tuesday night. The sketch was similar to the real thing, including some of the actual lines from candidates. It did contain a few twists, however.
All nine candidates were portrayed, though as host Wolf Blitzer started off, only five of them there had any chance: Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Ben Carson, Marco Rubio and “poor sweet Jeb Bush.” The remaining candidates of John Kasich, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie and Rand Paul were asked “to just wave so your parents know you’re here.”
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There was the typical back and forth insults between Trump and Jeb, with an added in line that “you pee sitting down.” Trump also announced later in the debate that he had gotten hold of his birth certificate, and Jeb was actually born “Jeborah.”
Christie and Paul did get to speak though, with Christie acknowledging he was making “fear mongering statements,” along with a Bon Jovi statement. When Paul sought to speak up, Wolf Blitzer told him “sir, we’re not taking comments from the audience yet.
The debate also featured Cruz being the candidate most people wanted to throw a beer at, Fiorina selling Putin an HP printer, Carson and his lack of energy, and Rubio “being the only one here you’ swipe right on.”
Jeb’s “one last chance to make an impression” was an attempt to rally the other candidates up to beat Trump, by combining their numbers. When Jeb shot back at Trump calling him “Jeborah,” and said “you’re never going to be president,” Trump responded with “yeah, no kidding, none of us are, genius.”
