In my most recent column, I told you about Air Force Capt. James Miller, a KC-135 aerial refueler pilot. His aircraft fueled A-10s that provided close air support to soldiers on the ground, an amazing mission. But it’s important to remember that none of those heroes can do their jobs without support from people back home.
I asked Miller’s wife, Kendra, what she remembered about that 2014 deployment.
“If something bad is going to happen,” she told me, “it will happen when he is away. Military spouses just dig in and handle it.”
She explained that if something goes wrong with an appliance, car, house, or someone in the family, in never happens while her husband is home — chaos always erupts when he is serving on the other side of the planet.
While Miller was deployed to Afghanistan in 2014, heavy rains poured in Spokane for several days. Friends, Spokane is not Seattle. It’s dry here. Lawns without sprinklers die. But while Miller was away, it rained a lot. One day, Kendra noticed a bit of water in the basement seeping under the door from the stairs that led outside. After she sealed it up with old towels, the babysitter canceled, so she had to take her toddler daughter Marcy along to the Spokane Civic Theater, where she was choreographing a show. The show included a live lamb that would curl up on Marcy’s lap, keeping the girl from interrupting rehearsals.
“When your baby is looking at you, and you can see she’s done, saying, ‘Where is Daddy?’” Kendra’s voice shook with emotion. “It’s your job as the parent left behind to explain, ‘Daddy didn’t want to leave you. He not only wants to keep you and the country safe but other girls just like you, whose mommies and daddies can’t help them.’”
Kendra then spoke of the child’s resilience. “I’m an adult [who] made the decision to sign on in support of what James does. Our child didn’t choose it. We ask it of her anyway.”
The rain picked up that night after Marcy had gone to sleep. Kendra was able to connect with her husband on Skype, and she carried the iPad to the basement to check if she needed to change the wet towels by the door.
“It was like a waterfall.” Water poured into the basement. The entire floor was soaked with at least two inches of water. She set the tablet down and rushed for more towels and a five-gallon bucket, trying to soak up the water coming in. James watched on video, attempting to offer support.
Kendra fought the futile battle for an hour, emptying full buckets into the shower drain three times. At last, the rain let up a little, and Kendra sat on the floor in the dirty water, near her breaking point. She and James looked at each other. The expression on the captain’s face made it obvious he felt helpless and awful. Kendra cried as they gave up for the night.
The couple has three children now, making it even harder for Kendra when James is deployed. “I have to give grace to myself. I’m not going to get everything right,” she said. But she believes in the mission. “I dust myself off and walk forward.”
It’s not a story about destroying America’s enemies or saving lives, not directly at least, but the perseverance of Kendra Miller and her family is a tale of triumph nevertheless. No matter what challenges or setbacks she may face, Kendra Miller won’t be broken. In that way, she and her family are like a lot of military families, upon whom our military success depends. They should certainly be included in our prayers and in our thoughts whenever we say, “Thank you for your service.”
Trent Reedy served as a combat engineer in the Iowa National Guard from 1999 to 2005, including a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Some names in this story may have been changed due to operational security or privacy concerns.
