Unlike the company that makes Sharpie markers, which took advantage of Terrell Owens’s touchdown stunt (signing a football with a Sharpie tucked in his shoe), the Gorilla Glue company wants nothing to do with Zell Miller’s endorsement: The former senator, complaining about our jet-setting president, suggested that maybe “Rahm Emanuel ought to get some Gorilla Glue and put it in that chair in the Oval Office and say ‘Sit here awhile.'” I own Gorilla Glue and it’s pretty tough stuff. But I didn’t exactly take Miller’s comments seriously. Gorilla Glue isn’t taking any chances, however, and has issued a press release that states, in part (and with the utmost seriousness):
Gorilla Glue president Peter Ragland also states for the record: “While our products are known for being strong and tough we certainly would not advocate attempting to glue the Leader of the free world to his chair.” Did Mr. Ragland seriously think someone would try to pull off this stunt and blame Gorilla Glue? (Perhaps this was aimed at the vice president?) We all know Gorilla Glue shouldn’t be used for such purposes. In fact, we all know there’s only one brand that can be used for gluing people.
