Sunday night, in advance of the theatrical release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the Sci Fi Channel aired its special, Mystery of the Crystal Skulls, hosted by NBC’s Lester Holt. Not knowing much about this occult subject (unlike, say, Big Foot or the Amityville Horror), I thought I would check it out. But I was tuning out after the first 15 minutes. Not only did the interview subjects seem way out there (you can always tell by the hairstyles), but one particular segment had me flipping over to a rerun of After Hours with Daniel Boulud: Some of the show’s “experts” claim the Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012. As Sci Fi’s website explains, “if we wish to comprehend their deepest mysteries, we must hurry. According to the prophecy, only by reuniting all or nearly all of the 13 crystal skulls can humankind unlock secrets that will allow us to avoid the apocalypse predicted by the ancient Mayan calendar…. The countdown for the salvation of the human race has begun.” So why an apocalypse? Is a meteor on its way to Earth? Not quite. While our doomsday is being explained in a voiceover, what we see onscreen is a montage of man-made pollution including smokestacks and, ever so briefly, the image of American troops (I assume, by their desert fatigues, in Iraq). Yes, if we refuse to drive hybrids and don’t use CFLs, and if we remain in Iraq, the world will come to an end. In retrospect, Senator McCain should have included in his speech last week finding those crystal skulls before his term expires. He’d win in a landslide.
