Remember 2007, that dark, faraway year in which “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” premiered, Paris Hilton went to jail, and Nancy Pelosi was sworn in as speaker of the House?

It was an uncivilized world, one where Rosie O’Donnell would leave “The View” and where the iPhone would not be released until June. We were so primitive, so vulgar. But we didn’t know any better.