As someone who has worked with convicted sexual offenders, it takes a lot to leave me feeling unsettled. That said, I was deeply disturbed by a recent criminal case investigated by
Townhall
, involving a married couple of LGBT+ activists in Georgia. The men adopted two sons — currently aged 9 and 11 — through a faith-based special-needs adoption agency.
Both adoptive parents are now being held
in jail
and face more than nine life sentences for allegedly sexually abusing both boys, distributing child sexual abuse material of them, and pimping them out to men in neighboring areas. In addition to video evidence being allegedly found on one of the adoptive fathers’ phones, the individual was also accused of raping a 14-year-old boy in 2011, but no charges were pursued against him.
The takeaway question for many horrified onlookers is whether men seeking to adopt or care for children who are not their own should be trusted. This news story has been particularly contentious, considering that the gay community, and gay men in particular, have faced unjust stereotypes of being sexually predatory toward children.
As a heterosexual woman who grew up in the gay community, I believe we must be sensitive when considering this history. We must also be willing to speak honestly when it comes to child safeguarding, despite the potential for causing offense. Sexual abusers will otherwise capitalize on our silence and the fear everyday people have of being accused of prejudice.
I can’t speak to this specific case, but brain-imaging studies I have worked on show that pedophilia (sexual interest in children under age 11) is hard-wired and cannot be cured. Pedophilia is also more common in heterosexual men than gay men. Of course, not all male caregivers and babysitters, regardless of sexual orientation, are operating with the intention of sexually grooming and abusing children. Some genuinely care about kids’ well-being. But I also don’t think it should be considered taboo or off-the-table to be skeptical — evolutionarily-speaking, it doesn’t benefit men to invest large amounts of time and resources toward children who are not their offspring. Men are also, on-average, less altruistic than women.
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Whenever I speak and write about child sexual abuse prevention, I encounter much resistance from individuals who think being cautious is “paranoid” and a form of parental “safetyism.” Interestingly, these same individuals have no experience understanding the mentality of sex offenders. I’d advise against letting lackadaisical opinions sway your mind.
Dr. Debra Soh
is a sex neuroscientist, the host of The Dr. Debra Soh Podcast, and the author of The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths About Sex and Identity in Our Society.
