TRUMP: ‘IT’S THE ULTIMATE LONG-TERM DEAL’: In a headspinning turn of events, President Donald Trump pivoted from his angry tirade delivered in the morning session of the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, to a triumphant declaration of success, declaring a satisfactory end to the transatlantic crisis of his own making.

While his morning speech began by taking military force to conquer Greenland off the table, it quickly devolved into a Festivus-worthy list of grievances, including complaints that Denmark was “ungrateful” for refusing to return Greenland after the U.S. “gave it back” after World War II. “What we have gotten out of NATO is nothing,” Trump groused, while repeating his territorial demands. “All we’re asking for is to get Greenland, including right, title, and ownership, because you need the ownership to defend it.”