Eli Manning has surpassed his brother’s Super Bowl victory total. But will he top him as a host on “Saturday Night Live”? We’ll find out May 5. 1. Peyton Manning » He is tough to beat because of his United Way spoof. In the spot, he was playing football with kids in a New York park. He drilled one kid in the back of the head, then sent him to the portable toilet for 20 minutes. He later taught the kids how to steal a car and helped another get a tattoo. Classic.
2. Derek Jeter » He dressed up in a mariachi outfit to promote his (fake) restaurant, Derek Jeter’s Taco Hole. That was good. He also played the wife of Alfonso Soriano (then with the Yankees). He told the other wives he didn’t find Derek Jeter good looking.
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3. Tom Brady » He starred (not as himself) in a video titled “Sexual Harassment and You,” serving as the correct way to, uh, pick up women at work — and using a less attractive and scrawnier actor to serve as the wrong way. In another bit, Brady repeatedly failed to toss a football through a target at a carnival.
4. Michael Jordan » In his heyday, Jordan didn’t need any self-esteem help (as an owner? Well …). Regardless, he appeared with fictional host Stuart Smalley for a “Daily Affirmation.” Jordan repeated the lines “because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it people like me.”
5. Charles Barkley » He’s likeable, in part, because he’s self-deprecating. Anyone with his golf swing has to be. And that’s what he poked fun at in a spoof of the “Hank Haney Project.” Just seeing clips of his swing — described on the show as looking like a guy having a heart attack mid-swing only to recover — is worth a few laughs.
– John Keim
